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Heeb Issue #11 : JewdarJewdar
Be My Guest:
We found ourselves on an express train to Thrillsville when we learned that not only is Christopher Guest in post-production on a new film, For Your Consideration, but that the plot revolves around a group of actors who find that their work in an indie film, Home for Purim, is being buzzed about as award-worthy. Adding this to the recent Passover film When Do We Eat?, Jewdar is spotting a trend. Perhaps there is new hope for our long-languishing farce about the comic mayhem that ensues when two neighbors compete to have the most elaborate decorations for Sukkot, entitled I’m Gonna Get You, Sukkah!
The Golden Child:
Fresh on the heels of her Oscar win, Semitic stunner Rachel Weisz and her husband Darren Aronofsky (who shall now and forever collectively be referred to as “Weisonofsky”) brought home another beaming, bald treasure. We speak, of course, of their little bundle of Jew, *Henry Chance, who kicked it old school by waiting until after the ceremonial snipping before announcing the name (our invite to the bris must have gotten lost in the mail). We at Jewdar are nothing but delighted at the entry of this particular member into the tribe, and wish the celebrity super-Jews all the nachos in the world (that’s a Jewish nachos, not a Mexican nachos, but hey, for Weisonofsky, we’ll throw in a side of those, too).
Corey-ography:
Only in our wildest dreams could we have imagined this moment coming to pass, so Jewdar readers, brace yourselves: The Coreys are back in action! Word on the street is that the Dynamic Duo are slated to star in a hybrid comedy in which swingin’ single Corey Haim (the cute one) moves in with married avec des enfants Corey Feldman (the other one). The story is purported to be in the vein of Curb Your Enthusiasm, though of course, that will be impossible, because HELLO, THE COREYS!
Dis-topia:
If you’ve stayed with us this long, you know that we here at Jewdar know a thing or 20 about stretching out a thin comedic conceit to the breaking point. It’s not that Jewtopia (based on the off-Broadway show by authors Bryan Fogel and Sam Wolfson) doesn’t have its funny parts—in fact, some of it is downright hilarious. The problem is that, like a poorly-made cholent, by the time you get to the meat, you’ve already lost your appetite. However, Jewdar is close to the San Andreas of magnanimity, so we will concede that the bitter taste in our mouth might have something to do with sour grapes. By the time Jewdar was finished, the only thing that we really wanted from the authors was the number of their agent.
Proud as a Peacock:
NBC has just greenlit a sitcom pilot entitled Lipshitz Saves the World, about a teenager named Adam Lipshitz who discovers that he might be destined to “save the world” (we don’t know what that means, but we’re sure that Jeff Zucker will be satisfied if it simply saves his network). To be sure, we have a sneaking suspicion that when it comes time to air, the “Lipshitz” in question will be about as Jewish as a bacon bagel.
Kabbalahblahblah:
Apparently, *Madonna*’s latest Trilby, *Lindsey Lohan, has adopted the Kabbalah name “Rose.” Our essentially narcoleptic reaction to this news confirms that the Kabbalah thing has reached stage four of the entertainment news cycle: 1.Surprise: (“Non-Jewish celebrities and Kabbalah, wow!”); 2. Interest: (“Britney’s wearing a bendel.”); 3. Bemusement: (“So now Madonna’s calling herself Esther.”); and 4. Boredom: (“Whatever.”) We suspect that Stage 5, Embarrassment (“Can’t the goyim just go back to being Scientologists, already?”), is just around the corner.
Got a sizzling hot tip on Jews who should be in the news? Can it wait a few months until the next issue of Heeb_? Then send an e-mail to info@heebmagazine.com and tell us about it._
We found ourselves on an express train to Thrillsville when we learned that not only is Christopher Guest in post-production on a new film, For Your Consideration, but that the plot revolves around a group of actors who find that their work in an indie film, Home for Purim, is being buzzed about as award-worthy. Adding this to the recent Passover film When Do We Eat?, Jewdar is spotting a trend. Perhaps there is new hope for our long-languishing farce about the comic mayhem that ensues when two neighbors compete to have the most elaborate decorations for Sukkot, entitled I’m Gonna Get You, Sukkah!
The Golden Child:
Fresh on the heels of her Oscar win, Semitic stunner Rachel Weisz and her husband Darren Aronofsky (who shall now and forever collectively be referred to as “Weisonofsky”) brought home another beaming, bald treasure. We speak, of course, of their little bundle of Jew, *Henry Chance, who kicked it old school by waiting until after the ceremonial snipping before announcing the name (our invite to the bris must have gotten lost in the mail). We at Jewdar are nothing but delighted at the entry of this particular member into the tribe, and wish the celebrity super-Jews all the nachos in the world (that’s a Jewish nachos, not a Mexican nachos, but hey, for Weisonofsky, we’ll throw in a side of those, too).
Corey-ography:
Only in our wildest dreams could we have imagined this moment coming to pass, so Jewdar readers, brace yourselves: The Coreys are back in action! Word on the street is that the Dynamic Duo are slated to star in a hybrid comedy in which swingin’ single Corey Haim (the cute one) moves in with married avec des enfants Corey Feldman (the other one). The story is purported to be in the vein of Curb Your Enthusiasm, though of course, that will be impossible, because HELLO, THE COREYS!
Dis-topia:
If you’ve stayed with us this long, you know that we here at Jewdar know a thing or 20 about stretching out a thin comedic conceit to the breaking point. It’s not that Jewtopia (based on the off-Broadway show by authors Bryan Fogel and Sam Wolfson) doesn’t have its funny parts—in fact, some of it is downright hilarious. The problem is that, like a poorly-made cholent, by the time you get to the meat, you’ve already lost your appetite. However, Jewdar is close to the San Andreas of magnanimity, so we will concede that the bitter taste in our mouth might have something to do with sour grapes. By the time Jewdar was finished, the only thing that we really wanted from the authors was the number of their agent.
Proud as a Peacock:
NBC has just greenlit a sitcom pilot entitled Lipshitz Saves the World, about a teenager named Adam Lipshitz who discovers that he might be destined to “save the world” (we don’t know what that means, but we’re sure that Jeff Zucker will be satisfied if it simply saves his network). To be sure, we have a sneaking suspicion that when it comes time to air, the “Lipshitz” in question will be about as Jewish as a bacon bagel.
Kabbalahblahblah:
Apparently, *Madonna*’s latest Trilby, *Lindsey Lohan, has adopted the Kabbalah name “Rose.” Our essentially narcoleptic reaction to this news confirms that the Kabbalah thing has reached stage four of the entertainment news cycle: 1.Surprise: (“Non-Jewish celebrities and Kabbalah, wow!”); 2. Interest: (“Britney’s wearing a bendel.”); 3. Bemusement: (“So now Madonna’s calling herself Esther.”); and 4. Boredom: (“Whatever.”) We suspect that Stage 5, Embarrassment (“Can’t the goyim just go back to being Scientologists, already?”), is just around the corner.
Got a sizzling hot tip on Jews who should be in the news? Can it wait a few months until the next issue of Heeb_? Then send an e-mail to info@heebmagazine.com and tell us about it._
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