Heeb

For those of us who have been concerned for Israel’s safety as of late, fret no more. Israel has implemented a six-month trial program fusing science, security and, um, dog shit.

Beginning this week, Tel-Aviv suburb Petah Tikva will be launching a program it hopes will unite communities, while helping to keep neighborhood streets clean and safe.

Requesting that residents bring their dogs to a municipal veterinarian who will swab their mouths to obtain a DNA sample, Israeli government agents hope to then use this information to identify and punish the parties responsible for contaminating public areas and potentially causing harm to their communities.

Under the program and in addition, there will be more to be gained than sterile streets; owners who dispose of feces in designated containers will be rewarded with food coupons and squeaky toys as incentive.

Israel is now considered to be one of the world’s leading excrement cleanup specialists. They may want to take their talents east, where rumor has it, a dog who dwarfs Clifford has been shitting enriched uranium.