Heeb

You used to be my hero and used to make me laugh.

But now your tired punchlines are merely ugly gaffes.

I placed you on a pedestal, which somehow never crashed.

Until your zany blogging made me see you as white trash.

You stand up for women who are getting beaten down

And relish in whatever crazy shit Mother Nature throws around.

Sure, you stand with the downtrodden, weary and pained

But what have you done lately, except complain?

You want another TV show, so get over those old scars,

Stop acting so hokey… Really? An alien from Mars?

I’m throwing out the photo you autographed backstage

To find a new boobtube hero worthy of a front page.