Hey, Academy! Matthew McConaughey Was Robbed!
A slice of Hollywood brilliance has been circulating the web-o-sphere these days. While the movie Tiptoes came out way back in 2003, the trailer for this McConaughey-Beckinsale vehicle has only recently emerged from obscurity thanks in part to comedians Paul Scheer and Aziz Ansari.
Where do I begin? Gary Oldman on his knees for an hour and a half playing a dwarf? A hulking, beefy Matthew McConaughey is the offspring of two little people? And wait…Kate Beckinsale is an artist?!?!?
But the best part of this trailer (see below) is a minute and twenty-eight seconds in when we see the Most Gentile Actor Alive (officially) break a glass under a canopy while wearing a yarmulka. Shame on you David Weisenberg for officiating at this wedding.
And btw, SPOILER ALERT: Beckinsale becomes pregnant—oops!—and McConaughey gets a case of the frigid feet. Is it possible that the baby could be a dwarf? Oh, snap! This of course inspires them to break apart but, alas, Beckinsale finds the love and understanding she needs in Oldman who sadly goes full-midget. You cannot make this stuff up. Oh, and you can’t make this dialogue up either. A sample: "So you had a circle jerk with a bunch of little people? I would love to see that!" Where were the Oscars in ’03? Huh?
Have we discovered the worst movie of all time? Yes. Yes, we have.
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submit a comment03.05.10 at 6:03 am
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