Heeb

Perpetrating the largest Ponzi scheme got Bernie Madoff’s  150-year prison term. This we know. But what has gone unnoticed are some of the smaller misdeeds he has committed. Like what? Like ruining the most important day in Rafi Kohan’s young Jew’s life!

While Rafi’s singing is reminiscent of Peter Brady’s voice

changing (see below), his lyrics spoofing REM’s Losing My Religion are hysterical. 

 Oh, life’s beginning
Today as a man
Because I’m thirteen
The service in the morning
The party after dark
Oh no, here comes Bernie
He’s here to hurt me

That’s me on the bimah
That’s me in my dad’s suit, Bernie
Ruined my bar mitzvah
The biggest day since my bris
When he threw bacon on the torah
Oh no, he’s made a mess
A really traif mess
I lost during Coke and Pepsi
They’re supposed to let me win
I think I thought I saw him cheat

But that was just a scheme, yeah
That was just a scheme

That’s me on the bimah
That’s me in my dad’s suit, Bernie
Ruined my bar mitzvah
Didn’t even say Mazel Tov
Then he threw bacon on my Zeyda 
Oh no, he’s made a mess
A really traif mess
He wasn’t even invited
I don’t know who let him in
I think I thought I saw him cheat

That was just a scheme
Feet, cheat, Pete, and Pete
That was just a scheme
Just a scheme, just a scheme