Heeb

Additional reporting by Karen Bookatz

Working a booth at a music festival probably seems like the sweet life to the Average Scenester Joe—you get to chill and listen to music, chug free Sparks and rub tattooed elbows with indie legends in the making.

Yeah, there was some of that. But, at times, the weirdness made more of an impression than the music—cutting through the sickly sweet malt liquor-induced haze to officially creep us the fuck out.

Here’s our run-down of the top three weirdest Pitchfork Moments.

1). “We’ll send you a T-Shirt that says ‘Hunted.’”

2). “I’ll take some rolling papers for my 15-year-old autistic son. He’ll probably use them before the free condoms I grabbed earlier.”

We gave out tons of free Bambu rolling papers, but unfortunately no one came through with any bud—which was exactly what we needed to deal with this Pale Ale-gulping guy and his dysfunctional family

3). “I brought you guys some flowers.”

The flowers, marshmallows and personalized pins were nice, but when our Number One Pitchfork Stalker began squirting us with a water gun, we were truly creeped out.