Sieg Heil! More of Roseanne Barr, Our Favorite Domestic Nazi Goddess
Didn’t get enough Roseanne Barr in The Germany Issue? Lucky for you, we had more choice Barr quotes than we could fit into the magazine. Here’s her thoughts and more pictures, including the Polaroid of Roseanne and Heeb writer, Oliver Noble that is mentioned at the end of "That Oven Feelin’"…
…on brisket I am more a pot roast than a brisket kind [of woman]. Brisket is too tough for me. This is kind of an unspoken intra-ethnic Jewish secret. Like darker ethnic women know, you must burn those pots! You must use chicken fat and olive oil—not dairy or pareve. You must brown those onions for 10 full minutes before the garlic, and then, when it is properly smooshy, you throw in the meat. You do not drain the juices! Our culture is based on animal fat, after all. Kosher salt and sweet paprika is the key. Cook covered on top of the stove. This is the Sephardic way, and it is far superior to the brisket-eating Ashkenazi-cum-Zionist way.
…on hecklers I like to invite the heckler to say his peace/piece, then I say, ‘Thank you for sharing,’ and I ask his name and say, ‘May I call you Dick for short?’ That always works. For women I say, ‘Shut up bitch—I mean, right on, Sisterhood.’
…on politics The rich ain’t going anywhere. They are done with that Christian Right- type stuff—there’s no more money in it. They have become the Christian Left now.
…on vegans Vegans are all coke-sniffing, cigarette-smoking faux socialists who listen to music that has no melody at all, so fuck them.
…on, um, macadamia nuts (because why the fuck not?): The macadamia nut is of higher evolutionary purpose than all of the Jewish people put together joined with all other human life on this planet. It knows exactly what is expected of it, and it does it with no questions asked and no inner conflict and no ‘free will.’ It falls to the ground when its ready to be eaten, and is all protein, no carbohydrate. No human being can come close to that kind of perfection.
Related Posts: Roseanne is Sick of Being Misunderstood Heeb Publisher Comes Clean On Barr Brouhaha Heeb TV: We Bring Extra Some of Roseanne Barr’s “Jew Cookies” The Burnt Jew Cookie Recipe – Over Six Million Served
Roseanne Barr with First Hubby, Circa 1976
comments
submit a comment07.29.09 at 6:07 pm
I find this morally objectionable—not being invited to the photo shoot, that is!
07.29.09 at 6:07 pm
Never thought I’d long for Roseanne’s rendition of the Star-Spangled-Banner.
07.29.09 at 8:07 pm
That’s a shame. I’m a vegan and I was always a fan of Roseanne’s, but apparently she’s not a fan of mine. :(
07.30.09 at 12:07 pm
Personally I think this is a bit over the top and questionable. I can take a joke as well as the next person, but this is not Roseanne Connor. Roseanne Connor is what people want to see and what made her famous at all.. She needs to stop trying to reinvent herself, she is not Madonna.. I wonder what her Dad would say about this…Shut up bitch, um I mean Sista?? Sorry Roseanne, but I think you will get more thumbs down than thumbs up on this one. Now don’t forget when you read this to say” F U” bitch…ha ha ha
07.30.09 at 7:07 pm
This is disgusting, and during the 9 days, no less. Allow me to explain, humour of all colour I am a fan of. The more offensive the better, however this is over the top.
Today is Tesha B’Av, the saddest day on the Jewish calander. We are in mourning for our lost Temple. To come on line and see a wash-up actress dressed in Hilter regalia is too much.
Fuck you, Rosanne.
07.31.09 at 4:07 am
the vegan quote, i can’t stop laughing…. i love it. i discovered my sense of humor the summer of 1991 sitting on my aunt carol’s sofa in their tv den, laughing hysterically at “Roseanne” (1988). i will always love Roseanne. i’m glad she’s still pushing buttons and being herself.
07.31.09 at 7:07 am
beachgurl: "this is not Roseanne Connor"...you're right THIS is the real Roseanne Barr. She is not "trying to reinvent herself" if you ever saw her stand-up BEFORE the Roseanne show you'd understand. Roseanne Barr is the persona she invented to become famous....not the other way around. I bet you watch The Hills and think it's real too.
urbmase: STFU she’s Jewish too, her mocking Hitler and the Nazi’s takes away their power.@ erikaherzog: agreed…“glad she’s still pushing buttons and being herself.” EXACTLY being herself…get that yet beachgurl?
For all other offended by this WTF are you doing on HEEB magazine site?
07.31.09 at 7:07 am
you all know what a Heeb is right?
07.31.09 at 3:07 pm
People need to get a grip!
Taking a satirical pic of Rosanne dressed as Hitler isn’t a problem. What is a problem is that Rabbi in New jersey that was popped in that raid of money laundering and the Rabbi has been selling kidneys from Israel for an unethical markup (not that marking up a live saving organ isn’t unethical in itself) but that type of behavior is what gives the rest of the Jewish culture the re-enforcement of the Jews as being money grubbing devious culture. Now I would take a a pic of Roseanne and Hess too if we never had to hear about a real life revered and ‘pious’ Rabbi hocking human organs for a markup. That said…which one is the real Hitler here?
07.31.09 at 5:07 pm
Well then. I’m certainly glad I didn’t mention I’m a vegan during the shoot! LOLOL! I love Roseanne.
07.31.09 at 6:07 pm
Hey fatpanda, how come your font is different than everyone elses? Could it be that Roseanne is responding to me? Why is it liberals can only fire back with hatred and not just accept someones opinion?
I thought that is what comments were for. I have seen Roseanne’s stand up before and not to offend you I will keep my opinion to myself.
No I do not watch the Hills whatever that is, but I guess you do if you know enough about it to comment on it. I just think with all of Roseanne’s talent this was the very last thing I would of thought she would involve herself in.
Poor taste but then again if the shoe fits..Bye now, sticks and stones and all that… ha ha ha
07.31.09 at 6:07 pm
There as absolutely, emphatically no excuse for such an article or photo shoot such as this. Roseanne Baar, shame on you! Dressing up as Hitler is one thing. But baking gingerbread cookies and making sure they have burn marks on them as if it was a Jew being cremated is completely unforgivable. You are sick and twisted (although, you’d probably thank me for the “compliment”). Perhaps natural selection will choose you one day as the weakest link.
07.31.09 at 6:07 pm
PS To anyone who posts here you better say something nice nice or the Roseanne family will come and attack you like mad dogs.
I was sent here by a former Roseanne fan, they couldn’t believe it either.
But then again who cares…You can bet Roseanne is monitoring this site constantly..probably most of the posts are hers. ha ha so transparent.
08.01.09 at 8:08 am
I heard Heeb’s publisher on a Baltimore radio station yesterday defending the Roseanne cover. First, the guy needs media training in the worst way. (“Anyone offended by this picture is stupid”). How anyone could not be offended by this picture is stupid. And I say this as somewhat of a lapsed Jew and totally irreverent individual who’s always enjoyed Heeb. But I also lost an aunt in the Holocaust and this is revolting.
08.01.09 at 1:08 pm
As a non-Jew, I am surprised how lightly you take the holocaust. Don’t you realize that you undermine your own moral authority with this type of behavior? Don’t you dare be offended, as I certainly will be, the next time someone trivializes the holocaust or makes fun of the Jewish tradition. You participants are found, once again, way out in the wilderness. Let’s just hope that you wake up to your bad behavior so the trip isn’t so long this time.
08.01.09 at 1:08 pm
I find this disgusting & disrespectful of those who died & those they left behind. Why even claim to be Jewish? You are a disgrace to the name! With “jews” like you, who needs enemies? The God of Israel must grieve your stupidity.
08.01.09 at 5:08 pm
“(...macadamia nuts are) all protein, no carbohydrate. No human being can come close to that kind of perfection.” So says the Goddess Adolfa. Wikipedia says 9.2% protein, 74% fat, 7.9% carbohydrate…could she be mistaken about anything else important?
08.01.09 at 7:08 pm
Satirical, taking away their power, she is just being herself, she’s jewish…
Are you kidding me? It is absolutely disgusting.
Why don’t you call my grandmother who had her 9 siblings actually burned in the ovens and explain to her that Rossanne is just being satirical? Or it’s okay because she’s Jewish?
You can’t just say, “this is just Roseanne being Roseanne” and write this off. It is beyond offensive and, g-d willing this will end her career. This, quite frankly, scares the crap out of me. We Jews may never be safe if, not even in America. Not when something like this is condoned.
The holocaust, of all things, does not need to be satirized.
08.01.09 at 11:08 pm
More nonsense from Roseanne Barr, whose career has been flat-lining for years. Roseanne has sealed her fate at being remembered as a Hollywood has-been. Can bad taste resurrect a dead career?
The Anti-Self Defamation League
www.asdl.biz
08.02.09 at 6:08 am
I think the Roseanne Barr photo shoot was great. I only wish Hitler burned every jew on earth in the oven. Especially the jews at heeb magazine. Oh, what wonderful times they would have been if those nazi guards raped and burned in the ovens Bradley Meinz (the photographer’s) and the writer and owner of Heeb magazine’s mothers and sisters in the concentration camps. I’m glad you jews are finally seeing the humor in yourselves and when the next holocaust happens, there will no mercy. This should be the fait of all your mothers. I hope you enjoy watching your mother being raped and tossed into an oven, then you can laugh before you are tossed in yourself..after you’re castrated. Heil!!!!
08.03.09 at 3:08 am
Roseann Barr is a blight on the painful landscape of Jewish history. Her claim to fame seems to be based mainly on the abominable use of unadulterated and sickeningly repetitious use of plain vulgarity. You should desist from touching any subject connected with Judaism or the Jewish people – the most maligned people on the face of the earth. YOU DO NOT REPRESENT ANYTHING EVEN REMOTELY connected with genuine scholastic or spiritual Judaism. Stop throwing dirt on your people – you are disgusting. We should all sit in mourning when watching the spectacle of how the “world culture” has degraded you. Just do us a favor and GO AWAY!
08.03.09 at 3:08 am
Roseann Barr is a blight on the painful landscape of Jewish history. Her claim to fame seems to be based mainly on the abominable use of unadulterated and sickeningly repetitious use of plain vulgarity. You should desist from touching any subject connected with Judaism or the Jewish people – the most maligned people on the face of the earth. YOU DO NOT REPRESENT ANYTHING EVEN REMOTELY connected with genuine scholastic or spiritual Judaism. Stop throwing dirt on your people – you are disgusting. We should all sit in mourning when watching the spectacle of how the “world culture” has degraded you. Just do us a favor and GO AWAY!
08.19.09 at 4:08 am
The writer, and most of the commentators (not to mention the former whore) are simply sooooooooo out of touch with their Jewishness, Tisha B’Av aside. let me give u an example so that you should all ask yourselves (including the Jewish yenta’s on the View):
imagine for a moment a black star (Opra, Levar Burton, Will Smith etc) giving an interview on Ebony magazine dressed up as a slave with a swastika on their arm, dishing out black gingerbread cookies with chains on their hands. Their body is mutilated (broken up pieces), star is with a Hitler mustache offering you the viewer/interviewer a cookie they call “nigger slave jungle bunnies”.
Now wouldn’t that be funny to the readers of this magazine and really give a boost to the readership of the magazine?!
Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeze! Why is sooooo difficult to understand that what rosie the whore has done is beyond self criticism and humor but just bad taste and self hating, anti-semitic psychosis? She has a serious problem being a Jew (as do many Hollywood stars) who hate their Jewishness & Israel. We don’t have to be privy to their warped sense of humor, disgusting as it is; and Heeb mag should understand the difference between humor and social pornography such as rosie the social whore.
08.19.09 at 10:08 pm
So, you’re suggesting that African American comedians and entertainers have never made jokes about slavery? Hmmmm…doesn’t sound right to me.
Also, Ebony is hardly the home of hipster satire (Neither is Heeb, but it purports to be).
Disliking Israel doesn’t equate to being a self-hating Jew in my book, and I don’t see what connection you’re trying to make…perhaps if you read the explanation from Rosie it might clarify things for you.
You don’t like it? Stick to reading the Jerusalem Post.