Stuff Hipsters Hate: Focusing on the Future
Sam: What do you want to do later tonight?
Carson: If I try to think more than 30 minutes into the future, my brain goes all gray and fuzzy. For the next 30 minutes, I think I’m just going to sit here and watch cartoons. Maybe then I will reach for that 24 oz. over there. But it is kind of far away. Maybe if I get up later. There’s a distinct possibility that I will get up. Maybe if I have to pee.
Sam: I think George and Marlowe are going to Monkey Town tonight to watch experimental porn. Do you want to go?
Carson: Dude, I have a job interview tomorrow morning and I’m still hung over from last night. I wasn’t going to go out again, by Brye called me at 11 and I was already out by the waterfront thinking about shit and staring at the water, so I figured why not think about shit and stare at whiskey instead? It would probably be a bad idea to get smashed again and then force myself into a button-up in the morning. Shit, man—the last time I wore a button-up I got so drunk that when I was trying to take my clothes off to go to bed, I just sat there for, like, an hour totally unable to undo the buttons.
Sam: OK, fair enough.
[Later tonight, Sam and Carson are still watching cartoons.]
Sam: So do you want to go to Monkey Town? I’m leaving now.
Carson: Yeah.
Sam: I thought you were all worried about your job interview…
Carson: Look, dude, a pigeon!
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