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Disney has made billions by turning awkward-looking teenage girls into stars, so when reports were leaked that they were developing a film based on the life of Anne Frank with writer David Mamet, nobody thought twice. But now, Disney has decided that Anne Frank—The Movie is "too dark." Apparently they were hoping Mamet would deliver a script filled with dancing Jews and singing mice. Instead, he turned Anne Frank into a modern-day Jewish girl traveling to Israel to learn about the traumas of suicide bombings. Mamet’s new adaptation was even more "intense, and dark and scary" than the Holocaust, forcing Disney to turn down the chance to exploit another 13-year-old virgin.

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