Jon and Kate Plus the Jews
Frequent breeder and walking Ed Hardy billboard, Jon Gosselin, is considering converting to Judaism. When asked about all things Jewish by Parentingdish.com, the shmuck who elbowed his way into fame as the father on the TLC show Jon and Kate Plus 8 responded:
This is the first year I will celebrate Hannukah. Hailey is Jewish. Everyone in my life is Jewish now, my attorney. I love it. I’m now half Jewish and half Korean. The family values are great.
Well Jon, if all your friends are circumcised, are you going to get circumcised too? No word on that yet, but apparently he’s all about the challah:
I just went through Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur and learned about the New Year and every Friday is the Shabbat dinner. I love challah bread. I’m learning about Jewish food, going to Zabar’s. I love that place. I’m learning about kosher and when not to order a bacon, egg, and cheese and make an ass of myself. Hailey makes fun of me.
Also in the gospel according to Gosselin, if you hang with the Jews you don’t need anyone else:
I have a therapist. But hanging around Jewish people you don’t need to talk to anyone else. My parents and grandparents are divorced and I want to break the pattern. I have Hailey and Mark Heller, my attorney, my therapist. They’re all Jewish. I watch them and I confide in them, especially Hailey. She is my best friend. She’ll tell me if I do something wrong. God has put these people in my life for a reason. My inner circle is Jewish. I only care what they think.
When asked if he’s converting, Gosselin talked like a 12-year-old boy discussing his first girlfriend:
I talked to Rabbi Shmuley a couple of times. He has nine kids. I was really nervous dating a Jewish girl. She’s like the best girl ever. All my friends are like ‘I’m so jealous’ and I’m like, ‘Stay away, she’s mine.’ She’s the rock of my life. She’s been through hell in the tabloids. They made up lies that she’s a lesbian and she’s doing drugs. We’ve both been through all this turmoil. And we just keep loving each other.
Will Jon and Hailey last until the Hannukah? As long as Hailey keeps taking the pill and can find an Ed Hardy themed menorah complete with a dragon eating a tiger design, I think Jon’s first Hannukah will certainly be eight crazy nights. .
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comments
submit a comment10.14.09 at 12:10 pm
This is laugh out load hilarious. Thanks for the link! Although, unfortunately, we don’t have an Ed Hardy themed menorah… yet.
10.15.09 at 12:10 am
I’m speechless.
The Bris probably wouldn’t need to happen, though. Odd as it may seem, most Korean men are circumcised.
10.15.09 at 2:10 pm
I can’t believe how quickly he’s movied into another relationship after a divorce! I f he doesn’t slow down, this relationship doesn’t stand a chance!
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