Heeb

Meet Joel Stein, columnist for Time magazine, the Los Angeles Times and now a contributor to Sex, Drugs & Gefilte Fish: The Heeb Storytelling Collection. Stein may profess his love of porn on his website’s homepage, but he also isn’t shy about his love for his grandmother. (Read an Excerpt from "Mama Ann" After the Jump.) Here’s how Stein answered our SDGF questionaire:

What was your best Sex experience?

Are you insane? Why would I tell you that? You didn’t even pay me for the piece I wrote you. I save that crap for my Penthouse Forum letters.

What was your best experience on Drugs ?

I never tried drugs until I was 30. Since then I’ve had four pot brownies. Of those, the best was when I watched Univision with my wife in a hotel. Neither of us speak Spanish and it was some serious Phil Donohue type show. Then they went in the audience and took questions. The first question was a very serious one from a guy, but behind him in the audience was a guy agreeing and nodding his head, only he was dressed as Frankenstein. It was the hardest I laughed in a while.

What was your best Gefilte Fish experience?

Once someone made one that was homemade and it wasn’t surrounded by gelatin and tasted like super-bland fish. That’s as good as it’s gotten.

Stein’s story “Mama Ann” is about what happens when he tries to convince his grandmother and her friends in Florida that Barack Obama is not a Muslim.  

“It became clear that Mama Ann and all her friends at the condo were still mad at Obama for beating Hillary Clinton, whom they loved because she’s feisty and tough, like a fifth Golden Girl. But it’s also because he’s young, seen as dovish on Israel and black— which is the Jews’ second least favorite minority after Nazis. If he were an old Asian guy who knew Krav Maga, he’d take Pompano in a landslide. I think I’ve just pitched the plot to The Karate Kid V.”

 

Meet Stein in person at the Sex, Drugs & Gefilte Fish book signing in L.A. on November 11 at Borders.  

Listen to Stein’s theme song – yes he has his very own.