Robbie Chafitz Is Good for the Money
Meet Robbie Chafitz, a screenwriter whose short film Time Out screened at Sundance, and a contributor to Sex, Drugs & Gefilte Fish. He’ll be telling his story, “The Money Was Good," this Thursday (November 19) at the Sex, Drugs & Gefilte Fish book party in Brooklyn. (Read an excerpt after the jump). He lives in New York City with his wife Magda and their cat Sheba.
What was your worst Sex experience?
It involved a stack of my father’s Playboys, a jumbo bottle of hand cream and the years 1981 to 1983.
What was your worst Drug experience?
The first time I did coke, I did way too much and ended up in a Times Square hotel stairwell on my hands and knees dry heaving at 5 a.m. with no recollection of how I got there. My best drug experience took place about 20 minutes before that.
What was your worst Gefilte Fish experience?
In my opinion, you really can’t have a best or worst gefilte fish experience…gefilte fish is a state of mind.
In “The Money Was Good,” Chafitz reveals some of his most horrible jobs, including a juggler, a clown, a fire-eater, a human statue, a superhero and a waiter/stripper at The Rabbit’s Foot.
By the third round of shots, I thought I had finally gotten the hang of it until one of the women, kneeling before me, looked up and said, “Hmmm, let me guess, you’re either Jewish or gay.” My guess was that up until now, neither Jews nor gays had ever been seen at The Rabbit’s Foot. “Just Jewish,” I answered, cautiously. I didn’t want to start a mass panic. “Yeah, I could tell,” she said proudly as she wrapped her lips around the shot glass and gulped. Reacting in false ecstasy, I caught my reflection in one of the many mirrors lining the walls. Now I knew what she was talking about. As the other topless men proudly humped poles and shook their asses in the patrons’ faces, I, with my pale hairy chest and unconvincing smile, looked like I had strolled in from the Hyman Bar Mitzvah and accidentally misplaced my shirt.
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