Tough Jew Is Boxing Champion, Majority of Other Jews Still Fairly Wimpy
Yes, the new World Boxing Association champion is not only a Jew, but he’s also studying to become a rabbi. The first Jew to hold a title since Mike Rossman, “The Kosher Butcher,” Yuri Foreman, 29, just took down Daniel Santos, a gentile, against the predictions of other gentiles.
Bravely sustaining an injury above his left eye, he’s now healing with the help of 18 deliberate stitches from his Jewish plastic surgeon. (Yes, 18 is the Hebrew numerical value of “Chai.”) Did the wound magically heal overnight? “I saw Yuri yesterday and it looked much better than the night of the fight,” says Yuri’s spokesman Dovid Efune, “but we are all bound by the laws of nature.”
As reported, Foreman does pray during his fights. “The divine purpose is a large part of his success,” Efune confirms. “He’s a devoutly religious young man. He wears tzitzit and always has his head covered when he’s not fighting.”
And we might not have to wait another thirty years before the next yid champ. “We all hope the next one will be on December 5 with Dmitriy Salita.” Efune means the WBA light welterweight title match between Orthodox Jew Salita and devout Muslim Amir Khan. (If only all Jew/Muslim conflicts could be solved in 10 rounds.)
Muslim and Jew prepare for short, civil, resolveable conflict
comments
submit a comment11.20.09 at 4:11 pm
I thought accuracy was a Jewish trait? Yuri fought & beat Puerto Rico’s Daniel Santos, not Miguel Cotto. Cooto fought & lost to Pacquaio – not a Jew, but nevertheless a pretty tough gentile himself.
11.21.09 at 12:11 pm
Leave it to Jews to promote anti-Jewish stereotypes. Foreman wanted to “show that Jews can fight”, and trained all his life to do so. Heeb’s StevenM did not even bother to figure out who fought who, but brought the champion’s intentions to naught with a mindless title nonetheless.
11.22.09 at 4:11 am
I don’t know about tough or not, but judging by the title of this article, most Jews are really stupid – at least the ones that write for Heeb
11.25.09 at 12:11 am
You thought accuracy was a Jewish trait? Evidently you’ve never followed Israeli Politics (I’m looking at you Bebe! Well, you and almost all your predecessors). The suggestion that if Jews don’t confront Jewish stereotypes that these stereotypes will somehow fade to black is absurd. And the guy is hot…for a ranga.
12.04.09 at 12:12 am
Your prose style is as attractive as your reportage is accurate — remember, irony and sarcasm are Jewish traits.
I was a successful amateur boxer in the 70’s, (27-5-14) and admittedly
only boxed 3 other Jewish guys. But at that time there were — before and besides mike Rossman — at least 4 Jewish professional fighters, including oral surgeon Harold “Hackie” Reitman, Ron “The Yid Kid” Aurit, Greg Edelman, Dorian Melamed, (undefeated) Kenny
Bogner, Gilles elbilia and Fabrice benichou in France, and who knows how many I am forgetting. I don’t think Jewish guys are any more or less wimpy than any other ethnicity, do you? For every Woody Allen there is usually a James Caan.
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