Jappy Princess Melissa Gives Good Phone for Christmas
This Semitic valley girl specializes in domination and humiliation, is available all day on Jesus’ birthday and, get this, most of her clientele is goy.
"Christmas is a major day to take advantage of the drunk dorks," Melissa explains. "A lot of the goy-boys tell me about the bitchy Jewish girl from high school that they always wanted to date, and I come into their lives and bring that back for them."
Ranging anywhere from $2.99 per minute for the basics to a whopping $50 per minute for "a nice financial domination fuck-over," Melissa satisfies the masses, Jewish and otherwise. "I’ve had everything from Arabs wanting to be called camel-jockeys to Hasidim who want me to make them sin," she brags. "I tell them I’m going to wrap their dick in bacon and have their wig-wearing wife suck it off with her fugly long denim skirt over her head. . .That’s just a small taste of what I do."
Find out more about Melissa at NotaNiceJewishGirl.com.
comments
submit a comment12.24.09 at 10:12 am
uch.
12.25.09 at 10:12 pm
Hey since when do you feature whores in your magazine. I’m mean is it that hard to find material.
12.26.09 at 10:12 am
Yo dr_win they probably decided to feature “whores” when they knew it would irritate schmucks like you enough to comment about it. Now put your 5 inches back in your pants and get yourself laid.
12.27.09 at 10:12 am
dr_win the traditional way to forget how useless you are ,is by attacking successful people,but it seem this time you choose the wrong person to attack ,You choose a Goddess with followers ,a Goddess that is beyond you and you can never reach..
12.28.09 at 7:12 pm
They’ve been featuring whores for quite some time, Vanessa Angel and that James Deen character for starters….admittedly Deen is kinda cute…but in a whoreish “wouldnt touch you with my worst enemy’s dick but would probably let you blow me if I were drunk” kinda way :P
There is however nothing whoreish about being a phone sex operator, it is a relatively banal and innocuous profession and I suspect 90% of the time she’s sexing it up over the phone she’s probably sitting at home, in trackpants and a sweatshirt, eating bon bons and doing her ironing.
I imagine the only STD this lass will have to worry about is of the subscriber trunk dialling variety.
12.31.09 at 1:12 am
What’s this chick’s number?
01.06.10 at 12:01 am
Sweet!
01.07.10 at 12:01 pm
Puck, you are close to correct instead of sitting in trackpants and a sweatshirt, I’m wearing my designer Joes Jeans and some trendy top. Instead of gorging on bon bon’s, I go out to lunch with my bitches and as if I do my own laundry or even own an iron! I’m a JAP we hire people to do that crap!
longge, you want my #? You wanna love me long time for $2.99 a min?
Now go be good bitch boys and re-new that Heeb subscription for another year.
01.07.10 at 6:01 pm
You’re wearing a top?
Disappointing XD
Lose the top and I’ll bump it up to $3.99 a min ;)
01.11.10 at 5:01 pm
Phone sex is completely kosher. I asked my rabbi!
01.11.10 at 5:01 pm
I see the appeal of Melissa. But the problem for me is that DH definitely got “paid” for this post so it should be marked “Advertisement.”
01.12.10 at 11:01 am
Dear brainyfox, I guess you’re not so brainy after all. DH definitely didn’t get “paid” for this post. In fact I didn’t even offer him a discount. But for you, I’ll drop down to $1.99 a min. Don’t hate the playa, hate the game.
01.18.10 at 1:01 am
Don’t hate the playa, hate the price.
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