Michael Phelps Wins Gold Medal in Dickhead
As the world weighs in on whether Michael Phelps is the best Olympic athlete ever, I would like to weigh in that he is one of the biggest a-holes ever. Or, at least that’s what many of us at his alma mater, the University of Michigan, think of him. Around campus, Phelps is widely considered a dumb frat boy, as dedicated to conquests in the bedroom as his conquests in the swimming pool. He may be onroute to gold medal history, but if you ask me—he can’t carry Mark Spitz’s Speedo.
comments
submit a comment08.14.08 at 1:08 am
Ooooo that’s a bit harsh…he’s well hot…there’s nothing wrong with having a healthy libido :P
08.14.08 at 1:08 am
I concur with Puck re libido. Also, although I very much dislike frats, I don’t put down people for perceived lack of intelligence.
08.14.08 at 1:08 pm
Ah crap! The FORWARD has noted that Mark Spitz is being a shmuk about potentially losing the single Olympics gold medal record. Thank G-D that there’s still Adam Greenberg and Ken Holtzman!
08.14.08 at 3:08 pm
You sound like some gossipy sorority chick. Or were you a member of the Society for Creative Anachronism that vowed one day to take revenge on all those jocks on campus? You lost complete credibility by publishing this piece, much like your alma mater lost to my alma mater Appalachian State. Time you went back to that job at Kinkos. Journalism isn’t working out for you.
08.14.08 at 3:08 pm
omg! You’re so right! But Kinkos won’t rehire me on account of all those crazy drinking pictures from Fall rush that I posted on facebook. It’s so hard to be so beautiful.
(I’m actually just jealous that I didn’t get to be Mikey Phelps’ slampig. And yours too, wetdream.)
08.14.08 at 4:08 pm
You had me at “slampig.” Maybe there’s room for App State/Michigan love after all. Let’s meet tonight after the KA mixer.
08.14.08 at 4:08 pm
slampig? omg. is that when your so drunk you get naked in front of your friends at partys?
08.14.08 at 4:08 pm
wetdream,
meet me at Sigma Lambda Upsilon Tau’s freak-fest tonight at midnight. I’ll be the goddess with a red rose in my hair and huge pit stains.
I’m sure HottiefromMuskogee will be there too, with bells on her boobs.
08.14.08 at 7:08 pm
dumass people can’t fit bells on there boobs. unless thats some kind of new word for peircings.
08.14.08 at 9:08 pm
If you had your nipples pierced you could dangle some small bells, I imagine.
Bored with Phelps now though, Wildman’s cuter :P
08.14.08 at 10:08 pm
weird. thought he was gay.
08.14.08 at 11:08 pm
If only :P
I gather he has ADD, he’s not dumb, he just has a learning disability …