Heeb

by Shira Levine 

Last week, comedian Margaret Cho chatted us up at a screening of her new VH1 show, The Cho Show, which airs tomorrow at 11 p.m. Cho isn’t one to wax shy and the show doesn’t disappoint —from Joan Rivers to G-spot enhancement, no rock is left unturned. So, being the wiseguys that we are, we figured we’d see how far we could push her and asked her for her thoughts on…

...her fans

Its what everyone can appreciate. I think it’s a universal audience that likes to hear about my family and big dicks. Big dicks and fucking.

...how her parents feel about big dick jokes sandwiching jokes about them

That is where my mom uses her selective understanding of English and pretends she doesn’t know what I said. She acts like she doesn’t know anything.

...anal bleaching

I got it done and you know people think it hurts or that it would be scary, and it seems like it would, but it’s really actually refreshing. They just paint your asshole with a little bit of bleach. But you have to do it every day. It’s more like a Crest whitening strip. The woman who invented it said she did it by accident. What kind of chocolate on your peanut butter accident did she have to have to come up with that? That’s just weird. She showed me the before and after picture of this woman’s asshole that she had bleached and she had a photo where she was opening the butt cheeks and pointing at the whiter asshole like she was at a county fair. She was so proud of the picture. It was like Best in Show.

...her haunted vagina

I was walking down the street, this weird psychic woman came up and grabbed me and told me my vagina is haunted. I believed her because I had a yeast infection that was all weird and itchy. I was scared that it was and I totally believed her. I totally thought my vagina was cursed.

...guest star Dave Navarro

Dave is really sweet. He is very flirtatious but I don’t believe him. I think he is just a boy.

...Gary Busey

Wow, he is amazing. I don’t even know how to describe it, but he is just so bizarre. He made me stick my finger in his head hole because he was in an accident. He was in a motorcycle accident with a car and he has a big hole in his head and he made me stick my finger in it. He made me skull fuck it.