Heeb

The year is 2020—the massage parlors are empty. Millions of dejected prostitutes have gone back to school. And Hasidic Jews all over the world are achieving sexual fulfillment within the confines of

You’re ripped from your mother’s womb, denied her milk, stuffed in a crate for the remainder of your wretched days, then slaughtered, ground and shipped to upscale shoppes the world over. Well,

We don’t know if any of those stars twinkling up above have six points, but we’re not the first to wonder whether the planets they’re orbiting keep kosher. If a UFO were to land tomorrow, we

I’m taking a piss in the foulest men’s room in Coney Island when Artemis Pebdani bursts in. Apparently unconcerned that I might consider the act of urination to be a private moment, the actress

For many Christians, the Apocalypse represents a time when their beloved Savior will return and bring them to the big line dance in the sky; for the rest of us, the idea of “the end of days” sounds

Calling someone a prophet should be a great compliment, but throughout history prophets have been notorious downers. Think of Jeremiah foretelling the destruction of Israel and Judah, Ezekiel predicting

This recipe is not just a great take on a classic—it’s also a terrific way to make your New Year’s resolutions stick. Trying to save money? Make your own lox instead of buying it at the overpriced

Irwin Corey, 95, is sitting at his kitchen table holding a metal pipe clogged with resin that’s probably been there since the Truman administration. For more than 60 years, Corey has been performing