Notorious J.A.P: Big Sis and “The Shady Car Dealer who Tried to Fuck Me Over”

Note to reader: This week’s Notorious J.A.P. was canceled because Joscy is being grounded for misusing her credit card (again) and “acting up.” We hope to resume her column shortly, but it depends on her and her Dad. Instead, this week, Notorious’s older sister offered up something she wanted to get off her chest.

I put in a lot of work into finding a good deal to lease a Honda. I went from dealer to dealer, and got all their best prices, and played them against one another. Finally I just went to the one closest to my house, because it has a lot of [higher income people] and they treat you better. I thought maybe I should go to the one without the [educated consumer base], but my Dad said no.

On the car I wanted was a sticker for $169 a month, and I lowballed the shit out of them telling them I knew a place for $124 a month, which was sort of true, and got them down to $149.

They said they would do it only if I had good credit, and little did they know, it’s 743, which is even higher than my SAT verbal scores. So then they tried to pretend that because I had a “slim” credit history, I didn’t qualify for preferred financing. And I was like, “That’s bullshit, see ya.”

They took forever to get my credit approved, even though I took the floor model because I needed a car immediately, and the hold-up was all on their end, and the guy said I was being “aggressive.” Meaning I was being smart and not taking their bullshit.

And I said, “Is anyone who doesn’t want to get bilked by you ‘aggressive?’ Because if so, I don’t have to do business with you. I can go to the ghetto car dealership!”

Then he told me, “I have good news, the car is yours for an additional $37 a month and financing fees,” and I told him, “I’ll think about it.” He told me (like an Arab in the shuk), “You can have a car today!”

I told him I was going to walk away, and then, somehow in a mere half hour, they got me the preferred financing. Surprise, surprise.